Those who have known me for a long time, would react-"yet again!!!" Yes, yet again, I see this paradox in my life. I don't like these lines (perhaps by H.W. Longfellow, which I read in my English textbooks in high school days) because it is in anyway related to my life. But, because it is not! For me, life has so far been a bohemian dream. And every experience in life; however painful (and believe me, I have been through couple of them) or pleasant; has seemed like a dream. Perhaps it has got to do with my attempt to look at myself as a third person (remember the 'Wren & Martin' definition about 'person' in English Grammar?). mehh I have wept; and sometimes like mad; and have laughed several times like crazy. But every time my emotions burst with such manifestations; I have found myself to be analytical.... and in a quite sarcastic way about myself. Loneliness! That is,perhaps, the best name for my life.... and as I see this world, for everyone else's life as I see them. Having got some people who love me like anything; having been cared for consistently; I am perhaps arrogant enough to find myself 'lonely'... and to be honest, biting, and thankless; 'lonely in the wilderness'. By the way, when you start analyzing your purest emotional bursts; you are, perhaps, the most stupid person on earth. And I realize how stupid I am! But this stupidity has something good to offer- it makes my life look like a 'bohemian' one. That's interesting; isn't it? Purport: One who sees 'loved vs. hated','happiness vs. sorrow', or 'past vs present'; all as same, is the wealthiest man on this earth. I may perhaps sound like defending my stupidity with some profound verse from the holy epic... and quoting the same cliched favorite verse yet another time. But, this one certainly makes sense here. If everything is a bohemian dream; and you know its a dream, you heart beats run with controlled speed; thus controlling your emotions...and keeping it neutral towards everything that goes in your life. It may perhaps also have got to do with some kind of harmonal/engymic (or whatever lingo docs would use) mal/well~functioning inside my brain. But, this reminds me of another philosophy of the Gita which talks about individuality of souls. Each soul has its own challenges in this world. At the end of carnal lives; the successful soul has to mingle with the supersoul. So whats wrong, if you treat your life less seriously; and just make it a mess...so that it looks like bohemian? Chaos has its own beauty... and a messy life is interesting. Whats wrong as long as you have tried your best to behave responsibly in this bohemian existence; and be good? I admit, this blog has no focus. There is a chaos in the flow. I love the beauty in chaos. Somewhere I read, even chaos has an order.
